Red! Bottling up emotions is exactly why you have those episodes! If you let them fester beneah the surface, they explode when the bottle keeping them contained cracks!! It’s okay to feel, even if it’s painful- it’s better than exploding like you did. Hopefully, you can get help to make the emotions less painful, but… i don’t know what you’re going through, nor what type of pain it is, so… i can only hope that you let yourself feel to avojd any breakdowns like that in the future.

“bottled up”